Jan's part one review on The Crown Princess and the Footman: Book 1

I received the first review of this debut novel from a nice person named Jan. I was so ecstatic to receive it that I almost got a heart attack! After taking a breather, I finally read it. She told me she hadn't read the novel's second part, but the fact that she had the time to send the review to me in just a couple of weeks is amazing! I am very grateful to receive her feedback. So to know a bit about how this novel might be perceived, here is her part one review.

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I’ve read the first part of your novel! Unfortunately, something came up in the past week, so I was unable to finish the whole book. Thus, for now, I will give my review of the first part only.

In general, the first part (and especially the first few chapters) of the book managed to introduce me to the characters, settings, and conflicts that may arise later on. I like the way you started it: straight to the main characters, while also giving out the general information regarding the social settings and background of the characters. The first three chapters, which are mainly about the Elena and Frank (and the royal family too, of course), are enough to “set” their personality and inner the conflicts within themselves, especially for Elena, from whose perspective most of the first part of the story is told save from some chapters near the end. The dialogue feels natural, and the two main characters’ way of talking is distinguishable enough, which is a good thing, since it also shows how the two of them differ in terms of upbringing, social status, and personality. In the fourth chapter, you managed to describe the kingdom’s background and relation to another kingdom while introducing potential conflicts (and perhaps a villain or more? King Zahar feels extremely cunning even from the moment he was introduced, and his sons aren’t any better) in a way that doesn’t feel forced.

After Frank became a footman, the change in his personality and Elena’s reaction to it feel believable, and so does Frank’s gradual shift to his former self, even if a bit calmer due to his maturity and job. I like that Elena and Frank would occasionally sneak out, it reminds me of when they were kids, and it shows that even if their current friendship wouldn’t be approved, they wouldn’t give up anyway. Initially, I felt conflicted by their fight which was caused by the events in Chapter 11, since it felt a bit “cheap”, so to say, like the whole thing (Claire, Jack, Elena’s anger towards Frank’s lies about her) existed just to escalate the conflict between them. However, I gave it another read and … well, both Elena and Frank were young. Elena, in particular, grew up as a royalty, which of course would make her more “close-minded”. Elena didn’t like that Frank lied without consulting her first – even though in that situation, he panicked – and that’s believable for someone coming from her status and background. Frank wasn’t any better, with all his talk about flirting. Frank enrolled in the school in the same year he met Elena, and in Chapter 4, it’s stated that Elena went to Al-Lur when she was 19. So, overall, I think Elena and Frank met again when they were already young adults, and the changes in their personality and relationship should be expected.

Still, I must say, there are a few things that bother me a little bit. First, there are a few parts that feel like infodumps. For example, in the first chapter, there’s a part that explains the two groups of nobles. It feels as if it was taken from a part exclusively describing the kingdom’s hierarchy and system. It feels a bit off, and the sentence itself (“No one had ever seen any of her drawings apart from her and the nobles.”) doesn’t need it, in my opinion, since the context of the paragraph is about how Elena, as an eleven years old girl, didn’t have many chances (if any) to actually socialize with her peers. Second, I think there are inconsistencies regarding some of the characters. Elena’s parents, in particular. In the beginning, they had allowed Elena to exchange letters with Frank, and I think it’s understandable since she was still a child and it’s explicitly said that they decided to let both of them play together, thinking (perhaps deciding, even?) that it’d be temporary. However, after Frank became a footman, the parents didn’t remember him at all, even to the point that Elena managed to make him her personal footman. Seeing how her parents had expressed disapproval towards Elena’s friendship with Frank, wouldn’t they remember him, at least his name? They didn’t show up much in later chapters, but I still think it’s odd. I think it’d be better if the parents’ personality is shown a bit more, at least from Elena’s perspective. The scene where Frank served the royal family sausage rolls is nice, and it shows the difference between the parents. Still, Thomas and Elena’s certain jealousy towards him already stands out, and it’s quite intriguing.

You might also want to make the time setting a bit clearer, though in general it’s quite understandable. At first, I wasn’t sure how to actually imagine the world. Based on the map, it should be around 1948, but is everything else like the real world? There’re cars, commercial planes, telephones, and other usual technology in the story, and there’s a mention of world war, so it should take place in a world ­similar to the real world, at least. Perhaps it’s because it’s set in an original/made-up location, but I have a hard time imagining the setting, especially since it’s stated to be a historical fiction.

Overall, the first part of the story is engaging enough to make me want to finish the whole book. It’s managed to set up the foundations of the story, from the characterization of the main characters, the possible conflicts and villains, to what the readers may expect. Thank you for letting me review it, you’ve done an excellent job!

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This review helps you see a better scale of what this story is about. Jan is busy at the moment, so maybe one day, hopefully, there will be a follow-up to it. If you haven't bought the novel yet, you can find the options to buy one in ebook version on this microsite https://liarani.carrd.co/

If you have read it already, please feel free to mention me on Instagram and leave reviews on the bookshops and Goodreads. Thank you and have a lovely day/night, everyone!